Big congratulations going out to our girl Alicia Keys on being a mommy for the first time! 

The Grammy Award-winning R&B singer has been dating producer Swizz Beatz, who has written hits for Beyonce, Jay-Z and others. They’re engaged to be married at a private ceremony later this year.

 Representatives for the couple confirmed the news Thursday night. Good news to end the week. Have a great long weekend and I will talk to ya Tuesday night! Much love. Save me some food from your cookout. Ok, love u. Mean it. XoXo -OA

Yesterday, I was driving home from work and I stopped at a traffic light, because that’s what you do when they are red.  Next to me, in a small Ford Fiesta (yes the same car that the American Idol’s won), was a man with a a beard.  I mention the beard because it was missing the the mustache.  Yes, the driver of the Ford Fiesta was also sporting a Lincoln beard.

As I waited for the light to change, I noticed that “Lincoln Beard” was looking at me.  I casually spun my head to the right and made eye contact.  My eyes locked on him.  I couldn’t look away.  One of his eyes appeared to be twisted to the side.  I am not judging him.  I was trying to figure out how this happened.

(It looked something like this)

I gave him a guy “nod”.  It’s something we do when we are trying to acknowledge each others presence.  He gave me a deeper stare.  At this point, the light changed to green.  As I looked back toward the road, I saw “Lincoln Beard” appear to give me the finger.

Once again, my guilt has gotten to me.  Did I make him uncomfortable? I admit, his twisted eye caught me off guard.  I was mostly curious as to how one could get a twisted eye.  I regret even looking, but he started looking at me first.

I have two messages for “Lincoln Beard”.

1) I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but you shouldn’t have given me the finger.

2) Buy a pair of sunglasses.

We recieved an email from a co-worker stating their concern about Tall Skiny Matt. Apparently TSM has been talking to himself while in the company bathroom and a few people over heard it.

Here is a video of him re-enacting the situation:

Watch the latest video of the Wake Up Call answering “5 Personal Questions”…

Former child-star Gary Coleman is in critical condition at a hospital in Provo, Utah after he suffered a head injury.

Coleman’s brother says he was rushed to the hospital after he fell and hit his head.

The “Diff’rent Strokes” star has had several health issues of late including having a seizure on the set of “The Insider” in February.

Tiger Woods isn’t allowed to date during his pending divorce.

A source says the golfer’s legal team told him not to date until the divorce with Elin is finalized.

The source says that Elin’s building a character case and her legal team is watching Tiger’s every move.

(Elin has agreed to share custody of their two kids with Tiger but she wants permission to bring them to Sweden whenever she wants.)

Crystal Bowersox not only lost the finals of “American Idol” this week she also lost a boyfriend.

Crystal said her and boyfriend Tony broke up days before the finals.  She says it was mutual.

She says he wasn’t cool with her new lifestyle.

While doing an investigative piece about a San Francisco hospital, a local reporter gets upset when the hospitals communication director won’t stop touching him.

Watch the video:

A Texas woman called up a local TV station to tell them how upset she was with them that they interrupted Criminal Minds with a tornado warning…

Listen to Gavin making fun of the woman complaining:

tornadowarning

Here is the original phone call from the woman in Texas:

If you love that vintage look, ala Katy Perry, I have a great site for you: Unique-Vintage .com.

They have a lot of great dresses and pin-up fashions including vintage, pin-up style bathing suites, which look great on girls with an hour-glass figure.

Check it out, I guarantee you’ll love it!

A kid filmed his mother’s reaction to the American Idol Finale. Watch the video:

When I was in college, I was friends with a girl who was really into poetry.  One day, for fun, I wrote a poem in about 2 minutes.  People liked my poem.  She got upset because it wasn’t deep enough and she thought I was making fun of her and poetry.  That’s the best part about poetry.  It can be about pretty much anything you want it to be about and it can sound however you want it to sound.  Tonight, I decided to write a new poem. It is here for you to enjoy.

A Headache, My headache

Hello my headache

I’m glad that you are here,

but if you wouldn’t mind.

GO AWAY!  GET OUT OF MY HEAD!  STOP TORTURING MY BRAIN!  YOU MAKE ME WANT TO BANG MY HEAD AGAINST THE FLOOR TO MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY, BUT I REALIZE HOW STUPID THAT WOULD BE BECAUSE BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE FLOOR WOULD ONLY MAKE MY HEADACHE WORSE!!!!

Now on a final note

I’ll say just one last thing

But don’t expect a rhyme

because nothing rhymes with GET OUT OF MY HEAD YOU PAINFUL DEMON OF THE SKULL THAT I WISH I COULD KILL BY STABBING YOU TO DEATH WITH A PLASTIC SPORK.

(Written by Jason on 5-27-10 @ 8:00pm)