It’s no secret that James Cameron (Avatar, Terminator 2) pisses me off.  I think he’s technically proficient but a lousy filmmaker when it comes to heart, soul and well…story and dialogue.  He didn’t direct this though; he was the Executive Producer.  You can still tell that he got his tentacles on Sanctum though.  The first act of this movie is so bad that it made me think I was watching Sharktopus vs. Giant Cave Squid or something on the Syfy Channel.  The dialogue was just as bad as the acting.  Shocking when you consider that one of the stars of Sanctum is Ioan Gruffudd (Fantastic Four, W.) who is a somewhat respected actor in Hollywood and has produced decent performances before.  He shares the spotlight…or lack-there-of in this movie about a cave…with Richard Roxburgh who is WAY different than his most famous role as the pompous Duke in Moulin Rogue and his son, played by unknown Australian Rhys Wakefield.  These three, as well as others, are trapped in a giant cave that has been flooded by a hurricane.  This is essentially my worst nightmare shown to me in 3D…claustrophobia and drowning.  Once the characters are awkwardly introduced to us, awful cliche backstories are laid out, and lines are embarrassingly recited; the rain finally starts to fall.  Once this happens and the cave floods, the rest of the film is pretty good.  It’s suspenseful and full of palpable tension.  It’s possible that I’m more susceptible to it because it preys on my two biggest anxieties for death.  But what really impressed me about the film is that Australian director Alister Grierson shot the whole thing in 3D and the end result is utterly spectacular.  It might be one of the best films to utilize 3D I’ve ever seen.  Plus it’s refreshing to see a 3D film come out that’s made for adults.  Make no mistake that Sanctum is a tad brutal at times.  One scene in particular was so graphic that it caused shrieking in the theater from some of the more faint-hearted viewers.  However, just like it began, Sanctum ends with a thud.  The finale of the film has “James Cameron” written all over it.  The same cheeseball that came up with “I’m the king of the world” and the Avatar mineral “Unobtanium,” probably also ruined an ending that could have been less Hollywood and more satisfying just to squelch any feelings of bleakness in an audience.  Sanctum as a whole is a decent film that won’t disappoint.  It’s a throwback to the natural disaster movies that show man vs. wild but it still feels like a James Cameron sandwich – the middle is good but the ends are boring and they stink.  What makes the middle of the film good is the absence of what makes the beginning and end bad…dialogue.
Sanctum (Rated R)
Gavin Grade: C-

Prior to this year, did anyone really know of The Green Hornet besides our grandparents that loved the old radio show?  Not me.  I vaguely knew what it was but often it got it confused with The Shadow.  Because of that, this seems like a highly unnecessary relaunch of the pulp characters as a way for the movie studio to squeeze money out of a new franchise.  So they hired Seth Rogen and shot it in 3D to make it seem fun for kids in hopes of doing just that.  Frankly, I think they missed the mark.  Through no fault of Rogen’s, the movie was campy and rather dull.  Now, I enjoy campiness in films but it has to be done right.  I’ll either laugh at you when you’re campy by accident or laugh with you when you do it on purpose.  I think The Green Hornet attempted to do campy on purpose but didn’t take it far enough.  Taiwanese actor Jay Chou makes his American debut as the Hornet’s sidekick, Kato.  He’s actually pretty good.  He has charisma, action chops and a pseudo knack for comedic timing.  I mean he holds his own against Seth Rogen’s improv, which is no easy task.  He reminds me of a young Jackie Chan.  Cameron Diaz appears as the only female in a meaningless character that offers very little substance to the film.  One of the saddest aspects about The Green Hornet to me was the decision by Christoph Waltz, who’s fresh off of winning an Oscar for Inglorious Basterds, to appear in this.  His performance is so bad that it makes me think twice about hailing him as one of the best actors from Europe working right now.  It almost seems like he realizes what a bad decision it was to be in The Green Hornet and doesn’t even try to muster up a decent performance through the whole thing.  However, he wasn’t helped at all by a stupid script, which Rogen was responsible for.  The good news about Rogen improvising so much in the film is that it cuts out most of the written screenplay.  But what I don’t get is why director Michel Gondry let this fail so badly and didn’t put his classic stamp of personality on it.  This is the guy that gave us Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Science of Sleep!  The creativity that he put into those two great movies are completely void from The Green Hornet.  Although the problem with most comedic action films is that the comedy is lame but that’s not the case here.  The best thing about The Green Hornet is that it’s funny…at times.  What fights against it is everything else.  The action is absurd, the story is moronic and the overall film falls short in virtually every area it was going for.  Even with the gimmicky 3D effects found in the movie, it stings more than it satisfies and overall disappoints.
The Green Hornet  (Rated PG-13)
Gavin Grade: C-

My wife had zero interest in seeing this movie.  When I told her what it was about she literally said, “What’s it about?  A runaway train?  Like in modern times?  How many people are onboard, like 4?  Boring!”  Needless to say, she didn’t go with me to see it and I brought my friend, Dan, along instead; someone who can appreciate a simplistic action movie like me.  My wife was pretty wrong about it being boring though…although she was right about the people onboard…that number is actually zero.  Unstoppable is directed by film veteran Tony Scott, who you probably don’t know but I guarantee you know his resume.  He’s one of the godfathers of the modern day action movie.  If it’s simple, over budget and made only so you can chomp down on gobs of popcorn as a nervous reaction to the suspense, then Tony Scott is your man.  He’s given us over the years such films as Top Gun, Enemy of the State, Taking of Pelham 123 and the cult classic True Romance to name a few.  He teams up again with his muse, Denzel Washington and new to the Scott family is Chris Pine (Star Trek, Bottleshock).  Both are great and likable as the unlikely heroes that are archetypes of your typical action movie.  One is young, one is old.  One is a rookie, the other is a veteran.  They don’t like each other but they make a great team.  One has a family problem he doesn’t want to talk about, the other helps him with it.  It’s a formula that no one likes to deviate from too much because we all like it and it sells lots of tickets.  It’s also easy to write those characters into the “true story” that is Unstoppable.  Don’t get too excited because it’s not “based on a true story” it’s “inspired” by one.  What it’s actually based on was an unmanned train carrying toxic chemicals traveled 47 miles in 2001 in Ohio.  But it wasn’t a high action adventure and the train never went faster than 45 mph.  The train in the movie though zips along at 80 mph, it’s carrying explosive stuff on it and it’s headed straight toward a series of populated towns in Central and Western Pennsylvania (close to where I grew up).  Adding to the cast of characters is Rosario Dawson (Seven Pounds, Rent, Grindhouse) as the helpful command center worker and Kevin Dunn (Transformers, Lost) as the evil corporate CEO.  Tony Scott movies are really hit or miss with me.  He has a style that is very obvious with his pointless zoom-ins, mega quick editing and seizure-inducing handheld shots.  But for Unstoppable it works pretty well.  Once you get past the first fifteen minutes of the movie the rest of the action is…well…unstoppable.  It doesn’t get boring for a split second, even though when you think about what you saw afterward, it really isn’t a whole lot of anything happening.  It’s an action movie with 90% planning and 10% action but gives you the impression that it’s 100% action.  Not an easy thing to do as a director.  Never once have I looked forward to seeing a Tony Scott movie, but rarely am I upset that I had to sit through one.  Unstoppable doesn’t break that streak, but it is one of his best I’ve seen in a while.  However, spoiler alert, the title is false advertising.
Unstoppable  (Rated PG-13)
Gavin Grade: B

DC Comics is home to lots of well-known heroes of the world, such as Superman and Batman.  They’re also home to some lesser-known heroes such as the senior citizens in Red.  The premise for this is what R.E.D. stands for – Retired and Extremely Dangerous.  Pretty funny idea.  The film stars Bruce Willis, who doesn’t seem old enough to be retired from anything, as a former CIA agent trying to make his lonely life in the world after walking away.  He pines away for a social security phone worker, played by Mary Louise Parker (Weeds) and because of that, inexplicably gets involved in a government contractor cover-up for a mission he had decades ago.  Huh?  Right, it’s confusing and doesn’t make an ounce of sense.  So he kidnaps his long distance girlfriend and solicits for help from his other retirement home friends, played by the genius John Malkovich (Being John Malkovich, ConAir), Morgan Freeman (Shawshank Redemption, Invictus), Helen Mirren (The Queen, State of Play) and Brian Cox (X-Men 2, Braveheart).  The whole time he’s being persued by bad guys Karl Urban (Lord of the Rings) and “hey!-it’s-good-to-see-you-again” Richard Dreyfus (Jaws, What About Bob).  This is an amazingly impressive cast!  All of these people have done drama extremely well and have done comedy extremely well.  I’m sure that’s one reason why this illustrious cast signed on to do this film.  Unfortunately, it falls flat…big time.  Red does a horrible job of attempting to be a fun and light action film.  It starts off right away with a whimsical score that you usually only hear on the worst sitcoms on TV.  That sets the tone for the rest of the film which flies above any kind of logical plot without ever touching ground in a world that would help you understand what’s going on.  It’s really too bad because the performances are pretty good.  Malkovich gives one of the best comedic performances of his career as a crazed, ex-CIA agent that was a guinea pig for military testing.  The action scenes are pretty great too, although you can tell they were watered down heavily to fit into a PG-13 violence guidelines.  The issue is the ridiculous story, the idiotic involvement of Parker’s character and how no one in the film seemed to notice that.  I place the blame on director Robert Schwentke (The Time Traveler’s Wife) for not picking up on that.  But considering how bad his last movie was, I’d say he’s not a “big picture” kinda guy.  Red probably seemed like a great idea and an even better comic book; but on the big screen, even with a cast that would make most Academy members soil their pants, it’s not very good.
Red (Rated PG-13)
Gavin Grade: D+

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is a more fitting title than the team behind this film understands.  I went to see this on the opening Saturday night at the 7:00 show and the theater was filled with 14 people.  Could it be that America is so uninterested in originality and something they’ve never seen before that this movie will become a flop?  I sure hope not.  It’s hard to describe this film to people who haven’t seen it.  You could say that it’s a romantic comedy about hipsters in bands where the actors had to learn Kung Fu to film it.  Another way could be what a video game about falling in love would look like.  If any of that sounds slightly appealing to you, then don’t walk…run to see this.  Scott Pilgrim is an awkward, skinny guy in a band who falls in love with a girl.  So naturally for a role like that the go-to guy is, of course, Michael Cera.  The guy is still funny but I wonder how long he’s gonna ride that “I’m Michael Cera playing Michael Cera” out.  I also wonder what the perpetually-looking 15-year-old will look like when he’s 50.  Within the first 3 minutes of this movie, director Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) takes you out of reality.  It’s not a sudden jump into the pool though; he eases you into it.  Trust me, you need to dip your toes into his world first because otherwise people would get up and leave if we suddenly saw how bizarre it will get by the end.  The “fantasy” that Wright takes us to is treating Scott Pilgrim’s romance like a video game.  And like any good video game it has to have levels and in this case it’s defeating his new love, who’s played by the stunningly gorgeous Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Live Free or Die Hard, Grindhouse), who has 7 Evil Exes.  And yes, that even means that when Scott defeats them they turn into coins!!  Everything about this movie is full throttle – the comedy, the action, the editing, the directing.  It’s hands-down one of the most aggressively creative movies I’ve seen in the last decade.  It’s based on the graphic novel by Bryan Lee O’Malley but brought to life with the attention to detail that 300 was.  The only complaint with the film is that it does get a little long in some parts and feels like it forgets it’s a comedy.  But those moments don’t last more than five or six minutes and we’re right back to the bizarreness.  It takes me back to my original point though – will this film be seen by the amount of people it deserves to be?  If my screening is any indication, the answer is no.  That’s really too bad for Scott Pilgrim.  I don’t want to see The World win this battle.
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World  (Rated PG-13)
Gavin Grade: A-

It’s possible that you’ve never heard of this movie.  Unless you’re a movie nerd and read that they were making this for the past 5 months, you may not have see one ad for it.  But The Expendables is an action movie written and directed by Sylvester Stallone and stars an all-star cast of anyone and everyone who has ever held a gun in a movie or ran away from an explosion in slow motion.  Besides Stallone, it also stars Jason Statham (The Transporter, Snatch), Jet Li (Hero, Fearless), Dolph Lundgren (Rocky IV, Masters of the Universe), Randy Couture (UFC fighter), Steve Austin (WWE wrestler), Mickey Rourke (Iron Man 2, The Wrestler) and even Bruce Willis and our Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger returns to acting in this.  I know what you’re thinking, but trust me…it’s good!  Most of this is attributed to the movie not taking itself too seriously.  The plot is straight-to-DVD quality and within the first five minutes you see man get shot in half, which is the sign of a real action movie according to my friend Dan.  But remember that Stallone is a decent writer and director.  Many people forget that he’s an Academy Award-nominated writer and directed most of the Rocky series too.  He’s not that great of an actor and he’s pretty painful to look at since having all that plastic surgery, but he’s a damn fine leader of this group of guns for hire…and boy do they have guns!  Big guns.  Big knives.  Big cars.  Big motorcycles.  Big explosions.  Big tattoos.  The movie drips with so much testosterone that if you go into the theater with a vagina, you leave with balls.  But things have changed a tiny bit since these guys kicked hell out of bad guys again…now they talk about their feelings and admit to going to therapy.  It’s a sign of the times and a pretty funny theme in the film.  But don’t let all those…feelings…fool you.  This movie is full of everything that you’d want from this pedigree.  The action sequences are so insane and violent that by the end of the movie you don’t really know who’s fighting who and why they’re blowing up the stuff they’re blowing up.  All you know is that it’s AWESOME and you don’t want it to end.  The Expendables has the capability to get on the fast track to being a cult classic.  You can almost see the Expendables Drinking Game rules now: “1. Do a shot every time you see a cauliflower ear.  2.  Drink your beer whenever someone dies.  3.  Chug your beer whenever you see a tattoo.”  And I have a feeling that Stallone would be okay with that, if that’s the film’s destiny.  That’s one of the reasons why the movie is so enjoyable.  It didn’t go into this hoping to be Oscar-nominated or bring respect back to some dusty old action relics.  He made it to have fun, kick ass and probably to overcompensate for a lot of small penises.  But let’s face it, those are the three reasons you’re going to see it too.
The Expendables (Rated R)
Gavin Grade: B+

So far this year, 2010 has shaped up to be pretty awful for movies.  There are two films though that have come out this summer that make all that suck totally worth it.  Toy Story 3 is probably my favorite Pixar film and one of the best kid movies I’ve seen in 10 years.  Inception isn’t one of the best films I’ve seen in the last 10 years, but it’s one of the best in the last 2 or 3.  Director Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight, Memento) is starting to carve out a reputation for himself as one of the greatest in the new generation of filmmakers.  Not only does he direct these incredible movies he has to his credit, but he writes them too.  Inception is masterful and daring on so many levels that it makes me hope the Oscar race starts early with that.  Leonardo DiCaprio stars as Cobb, a tortured man who is hired by corporations to break into people’s minds via their dreams to steal their most intimate secrets.  The story picks up though when a Japanese businessman, played by the somewhat hard to understand but still impressive Ken Watanabe (Batman Begins, The Last Samurai), who wants him to plant an idea in someone’s head via dreams instead of taking one out; a process called “inception.”  DiCaprio creates a team of experts to help him that consists of Joseph Gordon Levitt ((500) Days of Summer), Ellen Page (Juno), Thomas Hardy (Bronson) and Dileep Rao (Drag Me to Hell, Avatar).  As the team goes deep, deep and then even deeper into their victim’s head it creates a world that’s like Oceans 11 meets The Matrix.  But even a description like that undercuts the genius that is Inception.  The plot is so intricate and complex it warrants a third or fourth watch and I would imagine it will get better with every view.  Does the film move a little slow at times?  Just briefly.  Is it confusing?  You bet your ass!  In fact you’ll spend the first 20 minutes going “what the hell is going on?”  But I promise you that by the end of the film, you’ll be on the edge of your seat till the final last seconds tick off the clock.  It’s not just that the movie has action visuals that are so dazzling, it conjures how you felt the first time you saw The Matrix that makes it so good.  It’s not just that Inception has one of the most original stories I’ve seen in a long time that makes me sing its praises.  It’s not just that I was amazed by the climatic 45-minute-long action-packed ending that makes me respect it so much.  It’s also the giant brass balls that Christopher Nolan has in releasing this in the middle of the summer, when most studios save their brainless, popcorn-crunching explosion parties for the drooling out of school kids, that rounds out my love for this.  Inception is such a complex plot that he almost overestimates the intelligence of most audience members.  The story moves fast and doesn’t wait for you to catch up.  Don’t stop along the way and try to logic the science behind it.  If you do, you’re gonna find yourself five steps behind everyone else and lost in the fantasy.  If you do that, you’ll think the movie is good.  If you just sit back and enjoy the ride, you’ll think the movie’s great.  As for me, I can’t wait to see this again…and again…and again.  Thank you Christopher Nolan for still having faith in us to understand thoughtful stories and having the talent to deliver it in a PG-13 package that never feels watered down even in the July heat.  You could be the new filmmaker of all our dreams.
Inception (Rated PG-13)
Gavin Grade: A+

For those of you who love it when comic book movies come out and blow the socks off you like Iron Man or The Dark Knight, you have to know that it comes at a price.  What cost do we have to pay for such fun at the cinemas?  It’s called Jonah Hex.  This represents many, many, many subpar, horrible, unknown comic books and graphic novels that movie studios have gobbled up in hopes of cashing in on the next big thing.  At this point you can guarantee that Batman or X-Men will bring in a crowd but movies like 300 prove that you never know when one that no one has ever heard of outside the geeky basements of comic book fans will make hundreds of millions of dollars.  The movie studio that bought the rights to DC Comics’ John Albano and Tony DeZuniga comic, Jonah Hex, knew somewhere during filming that this was not going to be “the next big thing.”  That’s why they cut the film down to such a short runtime that I can’t remember the last live-action, non-children’s movie I saw that was this short.  It came in at about 75 minutes long, which still, AMAZINGLY, dragged.  Even more amazing than that though was the number of respectable actors they got to agree to be in this crap.  Not just respectable, but actors associated with Oscars!  Josh Brolin (No Country for Old Men, W) plays the title character and he’s joined by John Malkovic (In the Line of Fire, Being John Malkovic), Michael Shannon (Revolutionary Road, Bug) who has two freaking lines, Wes Bentley (American Beauty), Michael Fassbender (Inglorious Basterds), Will Arnet (30 Rock, Blades of Steel) and Megan Fox…okay maybe not everyone is so impressive.  How did this happen?  The production value seems relatively high considering it’s a period piece that takes place right after The Civil War.  But the script is as disfigured as Jonah Hex’s face.  The direction is from Jimmy Hayward who is also from good stock.  He was from the ranks of Pixar and this was his first live action film.  It was almost as if the movie was made and the studio had zero faith in it, so they sliced and diced it until it was a puny 75 minutes, cut their losses and shoved it out there.  I’m not going to say it’s a shame that this happened though.  This was an example of a movie that probably should have stayed on the pages of the comic books and was never brought to life.  It’s a pretty mindless story of confusing revenge, that mixes the paranormal with history in a tale that’s pitiful and painful.  There are moments of action that got my pulse elevated to the equivilant of a brisk walk.  I’m also a Civil War junkie and loved the post-war world the characters lived in.  However the overall product called Jonah Hex will definitely be the black mark on most of these actors’ resumes and, yes, that even includes Megan Fox.
Jonah Hex (Rated PG-13)
Gavin Grade: D

When I was a kid I would watch the show this movie is based on by the same name.  I would watch it in secret; not because my parents thought it was inappropriate for kids, but because they thought it was stupid.  They would make fun of the show to the point where I was embarrassed for liking it.  I don’t know if it’s their lasting insults or what, but that shame follows me to my enjoyment of this film too.  The movie put together a pretty cool cast that consisted of Liam Neeson (Taken, Schindler’s List) as Hannibal, Bradley Cooper (The Hangover, Wedding Crashers) as Face, Sharlto Copely (District 9) as Murdock and UFC fighter “Rampage” Jackson as B.A.  Good rule of thumb is whenever you see a movie staring an athlete of any kind you should avoid it at all costs and yes that includes movies staring The Rock.  In a recent interview, “Rampage” Jackson said that he considers acting to be “gay,” which is too bad because he’s not bad at it.  He steps into the role immortalized by Mr. T. with complete ease.  Once I realized that that wouldn’t be a worry, I could enjoy the movie.  I never had a doubt about the rest of the cast.  Bradley Cooper is a pitch-perfect Face.  Liam Neeson is the fatherly ass-kicker Hannibal that was needed. But stealing the show was South African actor Sharlto Copley doing a hilarious job as the mentally ill, Murdock.  After seeing him dazzle in District 9 and crack-up in The A-Team, it makes me feel like I have stock in the corporation that is Sharlto Copley and hope to see it rise over the next decade.  Directing the whole film is Sacramento native, Joe Carnahan (Smokin’ Aces), who has been rather disappointing  so far in his career other than putting together impressive mega-casts.  However, he gets a good stride going in The A-Team and allows it to move like an Oliver Stone or Guy Richie film with fast edits, cutaway scenes and camera trickery.  He also brings the humor the show had to the front of the stage never letting this movie take itself too seriously.  If it had done that, it would’ve been a disaster.  But it doesn’t lampoon it either, which is just as equally important.  Carnahan was also one of the writers on the film and there is an arena he still might need to get his sea legs on.  The script is inexplicably complex in the plot.  The film that’s based on a ridiculous TV show that starred Mr. T. doesn’t need to have a storyline that unfolds like a Robert Redford political drama or Grisham thriller.  Because of that, it might have some people get caught up in the weeds along the way and not make it to the extra explosive ending.  However it’s great in the way that just when you think it’s about to become absurd in trying to be a military drama involving high ranking cover ups and governmental back-stabbings, it has a scene where The A-Team is driving a tank out of a plane and shooting bad guys down in the sky with it, which couldn’t have been more stupid and fun at the same time.  The “A” in A-Team stands for “Alpha” but as far as I’m concerned it stands for the letter grade it earned by exceeding my expectations by leaps bigger than the realism that exists in the film.
The A-Team (Rated PG-13)
Gavin Grade: A-

This movie is from the team that made the Pirates of the Caribbean and National Treasure movies.  It’s based on a video game, which is just like the other two since they were based on a theme park ride and the other is a cheap rip-off of Dan Brown books.  They also have more than that in common; they each sound horrible on paper and are shockingly better than expected.  I never played the video game Prince of Persia but I’ve been told by some gamer friends that it’s really good.  There are several elements that are taken directly from the game, but don’t let that worry you because you don’t need to know anything about it to enjoy the movie.  Oscar nominee, Jake Gyllenhaal stars as the titular character also known as Dastan and managed to look even gayer than he did in Brokeback Mountain.  Besides sporting an inexplicable faux British accent for an Arabian character, he’s very charming and funny as the courageous warrior who must protect a sacred dagger from the clutches of evil with the help of several characters including the ever-so-fun-to-watch, Alred Molina (Spiderman 2, The DaVinci Code) and exotic Gemma Arterton (Quantum of Solace, Clash of the Titans).  He’s also pursued by Oscar winner, Ben Kingsley who sporting his “Ghandi” look again but not that attitude.  I wonder if another attribute to making this a good film is the unexpectedness of it actually being a good film.  I’ll be honest, I thought this movie was going to be crap.  Nothing about it looked entertaining from the ridiculous look of its star, to the weird CG character made of sand, to the fact that it’s based on a video game!  But all of it was!  The production value and CG give the film a great, warm, exciting period look of ancient Iran.  The action sequences, which are as bountiful as the dinner table of a Sultan, are fast, fun and thrilling.  The script is easy to follow, funny and not too stupid…it has to be a little stupid considering it’s about a dagger that can turn back time.  To round it all out, director Mike Newell (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Donnie Brasco) brings the whole thing to life with a great pace and exhilarating action scenes.  I guess to sum it up, Prince of Persia is the perfect summer movie.  I don’t need a brain to enjoy it, it’s flashy, full of attractive people and it goes great with popcorn.  It doesn’t have the clever script of National Treasure or lovable characters flawlessly played like Pirates of the Caribbean, but Prince of Persia is worth the price of admission (which I also admire Disney for not coating it in a gross 3D conversion to squeeze more money from us like Clash of the Titans).  In a summer of what looks like some boring-ass films coming out, it’s good to see surprises like this and I can only hope for more like it.
Prince of Persia: Sands of Time (Rated PG-13)
Gavin Grade: A-