Leave a Comment | Posted by Gavin on July 29, 2010
Dinner for Schmucks
Posted in: Comedy
Some time in Hollywood there must have been a gathering of talented comedic actors like Steve Carell (The Office, 40-Year-Old Virgin), Paul Rudd (Anchorman, I Love You, Man) and Zach Galifianakis (The Hangover, Youth in Revolt) who came together to do a script reading for Dinner for Schmucks. But what’s puzzling to me is that not even one of these guys got up and walked away from the table with any doubts that the script needed work or that it wasn’t funny at all. They should have. Dinner for Schmucks is a remake of a French movie that achieved a level of cult status among fans of foreign cinema. The French version, I’ve been told, is very funny and a “must have” among great comedies. It must be a lot funnier in French because this American version is downright awful. Even gifted director Jay Roach, who brought us the Austin Powers and Meet the Parents series, didn’t do anything to make this project funny. The premise of the movie is pretty good. An ambitious corporate executive is invited to a dinner that his career aspirations hinge on. The catch is he has to bring someone that is a complete moron so they can all laugh at that person and then compete to see who brought the most moronic. I personally think the idea of that sounds like a good time, but you’re not suppose too. As an audience member, they’re hoping that you have more moral fiber than most of us actually do and consider that premise disgusting and cruel. Biggest problem of the film is that Carell’s “schmuck” character is SUCH an insufferable, clueless a**hole, you can’t WAIT for him to eviscerated at the dinner. I didn’t care that they were going to make fun of him since I watched him ruin Rudd’s life in a series of very unfunny scenes for 90 minutes. If you think I’m giving anything away about the ending, I’m not. The movie is as predictable as a traffic light’s progression from the opening scene to the end credits roll. The only funny scene in the whole movie is the actual dinner but by then you’re so detached from the movie you just want to run from the theater. To explain where this movie goes wrong is almost an act of futility. It was just a lousy idea that was executed with total mediocrity, which is really sad since I was looking forward to seeing Steve Carell and Paul Rudd together in a movie again since their other two were some of the funniest films I’ve ever seen. (40-Year-Old Virgin and Anchorman if you’re trying to figure out what those two are.) Carell is too unlikeable and unbelievable to be funny and Rudd is too serious and bland to be funny. Galifianakis isn’t even funny playing a character that should steal the show. It’s like the entire film, minus a few seconds of funny lines, is lost in a translation from French to English and ends up being a movie for schmucks instead. I’m still a fan of the cast and wish them better luck next time **cough cough Anchorman 2**
Dinner for Schmucks (Rated PG-13)
Gavin Grade: D+
Jason Segel called up to chat it up about his new movie Despicable Me, but I used the opportunity to hijack the conversation and interrogate him on the Muppet movie. I got a release date and a little bit of information about the plot. We talked about other stuff too, but let’s be honest…The Greatest Muppet Movie Ever Made is probably the greatest movie news ever made!
So far this year, 2010 has shaped up to be pretty awful for movies. There are two films though that have come out this summer that make all that suck totally worth it. Toy Story 3 is probably my favorite Pixar film and one of the best kid movies I’ve seen in 10 years. Inception isn’t one of the best films I’ve seen in the last 10 years, but it’s one of the best in the last 2 or 3. Director Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight, Memento) is starting to carve out a reputation for himself as one of the greatest in the new generation of filmmakers. Not only does he direct these incredible movies he has to his credit, but he writes them too. Inception is masterful and daring on so many levels that it makes me hope the Oscar race starts early with that. Leonardo DiCaprio stars as Cobb, a tortured man who is hired by corporations to break into people’s minds via their dreams to steal their most intimate secrets. The story picks up though when a Japanese businessman, played by the somewhat hard to understand but still impressive Ken Watanabe (Batman Begins, The Last Samurai), who wants him to plant an idea in someone’s head via dreams instead of taking one out; a process called “inception.” DiCaprio creates a team of experts to help him that consists of Joseph Gordon Levitt ((500) Days of Summer), Ellen Page (Juno), Thomas Hardy (Bronson) and Dileep Rao (Drag Me to Hell, Avatar). As the team goes deep, deep and then even deeper into their victim’s head it creates a world that’s like Oceans 11 meets The Matrix. But even a description like that undercuts the genius that is Inception. The plot is so intricate and complex it warrants a third or fourth watch and I would imagine it will get better with every view. Does the film move a little slow at times? Just briefly. Is it confusing? You bet your ass! In fact you’ll spend the first 20 minutes going “what the hell is going on?” But I promise you that by the end of the film, you’ll be on the edge of your seat till the final last seconds tick off the clock. It’s not just that the movie has action visuals that are so dazzling, it conjures how you felt the first time you saw The Matrix that makes it so good. It’s not just that Inception has one of the most original stories I’ve seen in a long time that makes me sing its praises. It’s not just that I was amazed by the climatic 45-minute-long action-packed ending that makes me respect it so much. It’s also the giant brass balls that Christopher Nolan has in releasing this in the middle of the summer, when most studios save their brainless, popcorn-crunching explosion parties for the drooling out of school kids, that rounds out my love for this. Inception is such a complex plot that he almost overestimates the intelligence of most audience members. The story moves fast and doesn’t wait for you to catch up. Don’t stop along the way and try to logic the science behind it. If you do, you’re gonna find yourself five steps behind everyone else and lost in the fantasy. If you do that, you’ll think the movie is good. If you just sit back and enjoy the ride, you’ll think the movie’s great. As for me, I can’t wait to see this again…and again…and again. Thank you Christopher Nolan for still having faith in us to understand thoughtful stories and having the talent to deliver it in a PG-13 package that never feels watered down even in the July heat. You could be the new filmmaker of all our dreams.
Every time a Twilight movie comes out, I have to go see it. My wife is a HUGE fan. So much so that she dragged me to see Eclipse while we were on our honeymoon…even after she already saw it. I’m not a fan. The first film came out and I thought it was such a poorly made pile of crap that I couldn’t stand to watch it. However, just like with this third installment of the series, I had to see the second one too. The second, New Moon, was better and you could tell they were starting to right the wrongs they made with the first one. If Eclipse is an indication of how things are evolving in the series, then the last film should be great. The Twilight Saga is getting increasingly better. That’s not because of the story, although that is strengthening as well; it’s because the studio is finally putting some money, time and talent into it. It’s apparent to me that the mistakes that were made when the first film was are being corrected, such as casting and who they choose to helm the project. Last time they added Grade A quality performers in the form of Dakota Fanning (War of the Worlds, The Runaways) and Michael Sheen (Frost/Nixon, 30 Rock). This time they replaced a nobody performer named Rachelle Lefevre, who played the villainous Victoria, with a much more recognizable and talented Bryce Dallas Howard (Spiderman 3, Lady in the Water). They also seem to be getting better and better directors. This time around they went with David Slade. Now Twilight is far from horror, but by bringing in a rising star of the genre, it gives the project some much needed fangs. Slade directed the gruesome vampire film 30 Days of Night, which wasn’t a very good story but was directed very well. But what really blew my skirt up was Slade’s film Hard Candy. It starred Ellen Page as a would-be victim of a pedophile who gets her revenge. I consider it one of the scariest horror films I’ve ever seen and it was all due to his manipulation of the actors and the look of the film. Did he bring that same talent to Eclipse? Well, not all of it but he did bring some. Eclipse does have a darker look and better acting though. That’s a relief since it contains three fairly untalented actors. Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson aren’t terrible, but they both could be much better. Kristen Stewart is one of the worst working actresses in Hollywood though. I have no idea why she is the “IT” girl right now, but thanks to David Slade…she’s at least watchable. She used to have a stuttering way to her technique that was as irritating as a fork scraped across a plate to me. But in Eclipse, she didn’t do it…not even once! Thank you David Slade! There are some things I didn’t like. The movie builds toward what appears to be an epic battle scene that falls flat in its action. But scenes are in it that successfully and finally pull me into the melodrama of the love triangle that Bella is in. I find myself choosing a side and wanting her to pick it. That’s what the point of the series is. Will she be with Edward or Jacob? Who knows, but it’s getting more exciting and intense as it goes on. Let’s just hope the improvements being made are going to continue that way. If they do, we’re well on our way to a great finish.
Can you believe that it’s been 15 years since Toy Story came out?! That’s an insane amount of time to pass in between segments of a trilogy. However the company that brought us the first computer animated feature film in 1995, has finally gotten around to rounding out the story in the way that only Pixar can. Toy Story 3 picks up in real time from when we last saw toys, Woody (Tom Hanks), Buzz (Tim Allen), Jessie (Joan Cusack) and the rest of the toys. But time has passed by and now it’s time for their boy Andy, who’s now 17, go off to college. Alone, that premise chokes up adults while making them laugh when we see the family dog Buster, who was a puppy at the end of Toy Story, has become a slow, grey senior dog. That simple story of the passage of time turns into one of the most creative “Prison Break” films I’ve ever seen It’s also the best film of 2010 so far and the MOST satisfying ending to a trilogy I’ve ever seen in my life. Pixar doesn’t make films, in my opinion; they make pure art. There are other children’s movies that are fun and funny but nothing can even come close to a Pixar film. This is their 11th movie and all but one (Cars) have a 90% or higher on 
For those of you who love it when comic book movies come out and blow the socks off you like Iron Man or The Dark Knight, you have to know that it comes at a price. What cost do we have to pay for such fun at the cinemas? It’s called Jonah Hex. This represents many, many, many subpar, horrible, unknown comic books and graphic novels that movie studios have gobbled up in hopes of cashing in on the next big thing. At this point you can guarantee that Batman or X-Men will bring in a crowd but movies like 300 prove that you never know when one that no one has ever heard of outside the geeky basements of comic book fans will make hundreds of millions of dollars. The movie studio that bought the rights to DC Comics’ John Albano and Tony DeZuniga comic, Jonah Hex, knew somewhere during filming that this was not going to be “the next big thing.” That’s why they cut the film down to such a short runtime that I can’t remember the last live-action, non-children’s movie I saw that was this short. It came in at about 75 minutes long, which still, AMAZINGLY, dragged. Even more amazing than that though was the number of respectable actors they got to agree to be in this crap. Not just respectable, but actors associated with Oscars! Josh Brolin (No Country for Old Men, W) plays the title character and he’s joined by John Malkovic (In the Line of Fire, Being John Malkovic), Michael Shannon (Revolutionary Road, Bug) who has two freaking lines, Wes Bentley (American Beauty), Michael Fassbender (Inglorious Basterds), Will Arnet (30 Rock, Blades of Steel) and Megan Fox…okay maybe not everyone is so impressive. How did this happen? The production value seems relatively high considering it’s a period piece that takes place right after The Civil War. But the script is as disfigured as Jonah Hex’s face. The direction is from Jimmy Hayward who is also from good stock. He was from the ranks of Pixar and this was his first live action film. It was almost as if the movie was made and the studio had zero faith in it, so they sliced and diced it until it was a puny 75 minutes, cut their losses and shoved it out there. I’m not going to say it’s a shame that this happened though. This was an example of a movie that probably should have stayed on the pages of the comic books and was never brought to life. It’s a pretty mindless story of confusing revenge, that mixes the paranormal with history in a tale that’s pitiful and painful. There are moments of action that got my pulse elevated to the equivilant of a brisk walk. I’m also a Civil War junkie and loved the post-war world the characters lived in. However the overall product called Jonah Hex will definitely be the black mark on most of these actors’ resumes and, yes, that even includes Megan Fox.
When I was a kid I would watch the show this movie is based on by the same name. I would watch it in secret; not because my parents thought it was inappropriate for kids, but because they thought it was stupid. They would make fun of the show to the point where I was embarrassed for liking it. I don’t know if it’s their lasting insults or what, but that shame follows me to my enjoyment of this film too. The movie put together a pretty cool cast that consisted of Liam Neeson (Taken, Schindler’s List) as Hannibal, Bradley Cooper (The Hangover, Wedding Crashers) as Face, Sharlto Copely (District 9) as Murdock and UFC fighter “Rampage” Jackson as B.A. Good rule of thumb is whenever you see a movie staring an athlete of any kind you should avoid it at all costs and yes that includes movies staring The Rock. In a recent interview, “Rampage” Jackson said that he considers acting to be “gay,” which is too bad because he’s not bad at it. He steps into the role immortalized by Mr. T. with complete ease. Once I realized that that wouldn’t be a worry, I could enjoy the movie. I never had a doubt about the rest of the cast. Bradley Cooper is a pitch-perfect Face. Liam Neeson is the fatherly ass-kicker Hannibal that was needed. But stealing the show was South African actor Sharlto Copley doing a hilarious job as the mentally ill, Murdock. After seeing him dazzle in District 9 and crack-up in The A-Team, it makes me feel like I have stock in the corporation that is Sharlto Copley and hope to see it rise over the next decade. Directing the whole film is Sacramento native, Joe Carnahan (Smokin’ Aces), who has been rather disappointing so far in his career other than putting together impressive mega-casts. However, he gets a good stride going in The A-Team and allows it to move like an Oliver Stone or Guy Richie film with fast edits, cutaway scenes and camera trickery. He also brings the humor the show had to the front of the stage never letting this movie take itself too seriously. If it had done that, it would’ve been a disaster. But it doesn’t lampoon it either, which is just as equally important. Carnahan was also one of the writers on the film and there is an arena he still might need to get his sea legs on. The script is inexplicably complex in the plot. The film that’s based on a ridiculous TV show that starred Mr. T. doesn’t need to have a storyline that unfolds like a Robert Redford political drama or Grisham thriller. Because of that, it might have some people get caught up in the weeds along the way and not make it to the extra explosive ending. However it’s great in the way that just when you think it’s about to become absurd in trying to be a military drama involving high ranking cover ups and governmental back-stabbings, it has a scene where The A-Team is driving a tank out of a plane and shooting bad guys down in the sky with it, which couldn’t have been more stupid and fun at the same time. The “A” in A-Team stands for “Alpha” but as far as I’m concerned it stands for the letter grade it earned by exceeding my expectations by leaps bigger than the realism that exists in the film.
Seems like it was just yesterday that Forgetting Sarah Marshall was in theaters and had me wondering why everyone liked it so much. Well, now some of the same creators have created a loosely-based sequel on that movie that makes me wonder that all over again. Get Him to The Greek is about Russell Brand’s rock star character, Aldous Snow, being ushered from London to L.A. to play a concert at The Greek Theater. Joining him on this trip is the ever-growing Jonah Hill. Brand’s character is a crazed, drug-filled lunatic and Hill’s is a straight-laced, stuffy Every Man. This premise has been around for as long as we’ve had comedy and in the shadow of such “parties that got out of control” films like The Hangover, it’s not even very creative. But is it funny? Yes it is…at times. The movie starts off very weak trying to build the characters of the leads that we understand in the first five minutes. Then it builds to some scenes that crescendo into cough-inducing comedy. But sadly it ends on notes that are so flat and sour it soils some of the triumphs it had. Jonah Hill is someone who must know someone powerful in Hollywood to continue getting leads because he’s gone beyond being totally unattractive to almost repulsive to watch. The look he’s gone with for Get Him to the Greek is 325 lbs of unshaven ugly that’s being held up by a 5′5″ frame that waddles around the set like an angry little dwarf. I know he has fans out there. Hell, I even used to call myself one; but I feel like that was before I knew he was a one-trick-pony and apparently after he devoured all 150 lbs of Michael Cera. Russell Brand, on the other hand, is more subdued in this film than he usually is but for a guy who almost showed off his vagina on the cover of Rolling Stone and is a bigger one-trick pony, it’s still too much. I almost felt like I was seeing a home movie of the two of them making the trip and characters, acting and fiction weren’t needed. Again, I remind you though that doesn’t make parts of it unfunny. I would say that the party scenes were perfect in their morbid dance of disturbingly shocking and fantastically funny. The addition of cameos from notable TV celebrities to child stars keeps you on your toes to play a Where’s Waldo game during the entire film. However the movie ends with a three punch combo where all three jabs miss. One ending is confusing, the other is uncomfortable and the last is just boring. The film tries so hard to become what the Judd Apatow movies are and that is comedy with heart; a feeling of frat boy humor that can still make a lady go “aww.” Those moments in this film were forced and contrived. It made me sad that a film that wanted to just be scenes of debauchery felt the need to muscle in the sentimentality so much that it had no place in the story. If you enjoyed The Hangover but wanted to see what the party night scenes looked like acted out by two guys who play themselves better than anyone else could have, then Get Him to The Greek is the movie for you. But if you’re someone who feels like that premise is tired, uncreative and miles from inspired, then you’re better off having one of those parties yourself.
Hi. My name is Gavin and I’m a Sex and the City fan. I’m not kidding. I really am. It started when I agreed to watch it with my fiance in return for her watching The Sopranos. I was shocked when I really got into it. I know about random Skippy in the first season. I know that Burger was the worst boyfriend for Carrie. I even remember when Steve first met Miranda. Trust me, I’m a fan. I feel like I must prove that so you don’t think I’m just another Sex and the City hater blasting this awful movie. When I heard that they were making a movie two years ago, I was surprised but happy because there were still unanswered questions, mainly, will Big and Carrie get married? Well, they did and the first movie was great. When I heard they were making another movie I thought, “Why?” This completely unnecessary sequel starts off great. A big fabulous gay wedding (won’t say who gets married) that features the highlight of the movie where Liza Manelli performs “Single Ladies.” After the first hour of the movie, the girls get invited to Abu Dhabi for a business trip. It’s at that moment that the movie sinks into a quicksand pit of suck and never comes out. First of all, who wants to see them in the Middle East? The show is Sex and THE CITY not Sex and The Middle East. When you remove the girls from New York City, it’s not the same. The same was true even for the show like when they went to The Hamptons, or Aiden’s camping trip or the train ride across the country (see, I told you I’m a fan). Manhattan is as much of a character as anyone of the girls are and when you take it out, you’ve lost me. But that’s only the beginning of the disaster known as Sex and The City 2. The movie gets so lost in musical numbers (you read that right), stilted dialogue, lack of chemistry and corny puns that it makes the 2 and a half hour runtime excruciating. Yes, you heard me right; this movie is almost 3 hours long. Who do you think you are, Ben Hur?!?! Just because you’re filmed in the desert doesn’t mean you’re making an epic! The movie is a mere shell of what made the show good. Sure, it was about shallow, empty, materialistic girls who hump their way through season after season, but they also fell in love and developed real problems. The real problems in this film are covered with such a poorly-made candy coating, it’s stupid, not sappy. Finally, the disastrous job that writer and director Michael Patrick King (Sex and the City, Will & Grace) did trying to make his point about the oppression of Muslim women needs to be addressed. We all can agree that the way women are treated in the Middle East is barbaric and midlevel, but King actually makes himself look like a moron by offending the entire Muslim religion. In scenes that are not only a million miles from funny and completely unrealistic, he mocks their culture to the point where it offended ME…and I’m not religious at all. If the movie took place in Utah and he did the same scenes but involved the Mormons, this film would be protested by half of America. Bottom line: time to hang up those Manolos, girls. It’s a shame the series has to go out like this…in a pitiful limp of what it used to be. I had to go home and watch the show again just to get the stink off of me. The few scenes that I did enjoy were ruined by the rest of the film…oh and also by the cackling, drunk bitches that sat in front of me too. I had to yell, “Hey!, you’re not in your living room, so shut the f**k up and watch the movie!” It was so “Samantha” of me!
This movie is from the team that made the Pirates of the Caribbean and National Treasure movies. It’s based on a video game, which is just like the other two since they were based on a theme park ride and the other is a cheap rip-off of Dan Brown books. They also have more than that in common; they each sound horrible on paper and are shockingly better than expected. I never played the video game Prince of Persia but I’ve been told by some gamer friends that it’s really good. There are several elements that are taken directly from the game, but don’t let that worry you because you don’t need to know anything about it to enjoy the movie. Oscar nominee, Jake Gyllenhaal stars as the titular character also known as Dastan and managed to look even gayer than he did in Brokeback Mountain. Besides sporting an inexplicable faux British accent for an Arabian character, he’s very charming and funny as the courageous warrior who must protect a sacred dagger from the clutches of evil with the help of several characters including the ever-so-fun-to-watch, Alred Molina (Spiderman 2, The DaVinci Code) and exotic Gemma Arterton (Quantum of Solace, Clash of the Titans). He’s also pursued by Oscar winner, Ben Kingsley who sporting his “Ghandi” look again but not that attitude. I wonder if another attribute to making this a good film is the unexpectedness of it actually being a good film. I’ll be honest, I thought this movie was going to be crap. Nothing about it looked entertaining from the ridiculous look of its star, to the weird CG character made of sand, to the fact that it’s based on a video game! But all of it was! The production value and CG give the film a great, warm, exciting period look of ancient Iran. The action sequences, which are as bountiful as the dinner table of a Sultan, are fast, fun and thrilling. The script is easy to follow, funny and not too stupid…it has to be a little stupid considering it’s about a dagger that can turn back time. To round it all out, director Mike Newell (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Donnie Brasco) brings the whole thing to life with a great pace and exhilarating action scenes. I guess to sum it up, Prince of Persia is the perfect summer movie. I don’t need a brain to enjoy it, it’s flashy, full of attractive people and it goes great with popcorn. It doesn’t have the clever script of National Treasure or lovable characters flawlessly played like Pirates of the Caribbean, but Prince of Persia is worth the price of admission (which I also admire Disney for not coating it in a gross 3D conversion to squeeze more money from us like Clash of the Titans). In a summer of what looks like some boring-ass films coming out, it’s good to see surprises like this and I can only hope for more like it.