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The Last Exorcism

Gavin — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 22:42:07 -0700

Aristotle was not only one of the best philosophical minds of all time, but he was also a caddy bitch-of-a-critic. He invented a saying “Deus ex Machina,” which is Latin for “god out of a machine.” I know that seems odd to bring up in a review for a horror film, but it basically means a great story with a horrible ending. Aristotle HATED when he would spend the whole play getting deeply invested in the characters who find themselves in an impossibly entertaining and twisted plot just to have the whole freaking thing ruined by an ending (in his case) where a god would simply get lowered on the stage and fix everything. It’s lazy writing. The Last Exorcism is just that! This film is fantastic at first! It is directed by newcomer Daniel Stamm in a mock documentary approach. The reason for the documentary is to follow the main character, a preacher played excellently by Patrick Fabian (Big Love), in his quest to show how exorcisms are fake and religion in general is pretty much a sham. It starts off very funny with some true laugh-out-loud moments. He then finds himself performing a fake exorcism over the body of young Nell, who’s played by the new and lovely Ashley Bell. But we quickly learn that she might actually be possessed by a real demon. The movie goes from funny to really scary in two seconds flat, with a scene that’s more creepy than shock. We see Bell bend and contort her body into awful and painful positions (these were real too since she has a background in ballet). With that sudden switch in to 5th gear fear, I was hooked as an audience member. The movie gets tense and spooky. More and more discoveries are made about the characters that makes us think that there’s more going on than just a classic ghost story about the devil in an innocent girl. What started as a comedy, then bloomed into a horror actually starts rolling into a well-crafted mystery. Then, as if the writers had no idea how to end it, the whole thing comes crashing down in a climax that isn’t scary, isn’t logical, isn’t creative or even entertaining. It’s like eating a fantastic sandwich that has an aftertaste of old earwax – it’s so bad it ruins the good parts. I believe that no ending would’ve been better than the ending they created. The good thing about this film though is that it continues to allow The Exorcist to rein supreme as the scariest film about possession of all time. What they did in that movie was taboo and broke down walls of taste and preconceived notions of what horror could be. The Last Exorcism impresses at first with it working within the PG-13 perimeters but then feels stifled by them. I understand that the mock documentary style of filmmaking is hard to squeeze an ending out of. People bitched about the endings of Cloverfield, Paranormal Activity and Quarantine too. But those films understood the problem and came to the conclusion that less is more and perhaps the simpler solution is the better ending. I would agree with that and it would’ve helped this film. Now I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t want movies to have plots twists and turns in them. Just make sure that, as a writer, you don’t get twisted up in your twists and you can still explain your way out. An ending is more important than the whole of the film and The Last Exorcism is a prime example of that.
The Last Exorcism (Rated PG-13)
Gavin Grade: C-

Piranha 3D

Gavin — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 22:04:49 -0700

Elisabeth Shue (Leaving Las Vegas, Hollow Man) is an Oscar-winning actress and rarely performs in films anymore. So what the hell would get someone like her to not only agree to appear in a tawdry remake of an already tawdry film from the ’70s but be the star of it too?!!? Probably the same thing that got Ving Rhames (Pulp Fiction, Dawn of the Dead), Christopher Lloyd (Back to the Future series, Clue), Jerry O’Connell (Jerry Maguire, Scream 2) and Richard Dreyfuss (W., Close Encounters of the Third Kind), who not only show up in the film but reprise his amazing role of Matt Hooper from Jaws, to agree to be in it! I’m still not really sure what that something was though. Could it be gobs of money that was thrown at them? Doubtful. Maybe the naked women that run 50-yards-deep in some scenes for the film? Eh, I think they’re above that. Or was it the chance to work with skilled French horror director Alexandre Aja (High Tension, The Hills Have Eyes) on something that was made to purely be a good time at the movies and nothing more? Probably that. Piranha 3D is a throwback to when horror films were full of cheap scares, lots of boobs and buckets of blood. If that’s all you want to see, then you won’t be disappointed one bit. If there isn’t a frame of this film that doesn’t have naked women, shredded flesh or both in it, then it’s showing off with some kind of campy, overt 3D effect. What’s enjoyable about the film though is the level of commitment the actors give the characters. They sink their teeth (no pun intended) into the roles and don’t over-play them but don’t make you feel like they’re coasting through it either. It’s almost like a comedy duo where the actors are the “straight guy” and the film itself is the “funny guy.” They’re in on the joke but know the joke would be over if they didn’t make you almost believe they didn’t know it was funny. The gory violence comes on quick and once it does, the screen runs red with so much carnage that I can’t remember when a film last delivered a comparable level. The pinnacle of the Piranha 3D is when the thousands of fish feast on the hundreds of college Spring Breakers in an orgy of chaos that is so excessive in not only violence but also scale and performances by all the scantily clad extras, that you can’t help but to laugh at the thought of how much fun it must have been to film. However, as delightfully awful as that scene is, the movie lacks something. When a film intentionally sets out to be a cult classic, it’s very difficult for it to stick that landing with A+ precision. Although the film is meant to be stupid and silly, if there’s nothing to make people want to see it again, you don’t get a cult film…you get something stupid and silly. A cult classic has to be something that’s so much fun to watch it keeps you coming back for more and compels you to show all your friends. Piranha 3D wasn’t that, but it gave a fair attempt. But I have a feeling that it’s going to lose even more “cult” quality when it moves to DVD and has to be viewed without the 3D gimmick. Because seeing a piranha devour a human penis and then burp it back up just isn’t the same in 2D.
Piranha 3D (Rated R)
Gavin Grade: B-

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Gavin — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 16:05:23 -0700

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is a more fitting title than the team behind this film understands. I went to see this on the opening Saturday night at the 7:00 show and the theater was filled with 14 people. Could it be that America is so uninterested in originality and something they’ve never seen before that this movie will become a flop? I sure hope not. It’s hard to describe this film to people who haven’t seen it. You could say that it’s a romantic comedy about hipsters in bands where the actors had to learn Kung Fu to film it. Another way could be what a video game about falling in love would look like. If any of that sounds slightly appealing to you, then don’t walk…run to see this. Scott Pilgrim is an awkward, skinny guy in a band who falls in love with a girl. So naturally for a role like that the go-to guy is, of course, Michael Cera. The guy is still funny but I wonder how long he’s gonna ride that “I’m Michael Cera playing Michael Cera” out. I also wonder what the perpetually-looking 15-year-old will look like when he’s 50. Within the first 3 minutes of this movie, director Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) takes you out of reality. It’s not a sudden jump into the pool though; he eases you into it. Trust me, you need to dip your toes into his world first because otherwise people would get up and leave if we suddenly saw how bizarre it will get by the end. The “fantasy” that Wright takes us to is treating Scott Pilgrim’s romance like a video game. And like any good video game it has to have levels and in this case it’s defeating his new love, who’s played by the stunningly gorgeous Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Live Free or Die Hard, Grindhouse), who has 7 Evil Exes. And yes, that even means that when Scott defeats them they turn into coins!! Everything about this movie is full throttle – the comedy, the action, the editing, the directing. It’s hands-down one of the most aggressively creative movies I’ve seen in the last decade. It’s based on the graphic novel by Bryan Lee O’Malley but brought to life with the attention to detail that 300 was. The only complaint with the film is that it does get a little long in some parts and feels like it forgets it’s a comedy. But those moments don’t last more than five or six minutes and we’re right back to the bizarreness. It takes me back to my original point though – will this film be seen by the amount of people it deserves to be? If my screening is any indication, the answer is no. That’s really too bad for Scott Pilgrim. I don’t want to see The World win this battle.
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (Rated PG-13)
Gavin Grade: A-

Eat Pray Love

Gavin — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 05:44:14 -0700

To be perfectly honest and up front, I don’t like Julia Roberts. There! I said it! I know she’s America’s Sweetheart and everyone loves her, but I never found her to be a good actress and has coasted by all these years on her cuteness and her ability to get weepy on command. However, the reason why Eat Pray Love wasn’t good has nothing to do with her shortcomings. This is the film version of the New York Times Bestseller by Elizabeth Gilbert and it’s her memoir about her life and this experience she had. It’s gotta be hard for Gilbert to put up with criticism for this movie since the only thing to really not like about it is HER! This film is over two hours long and every single second of it is dedicated to her and how unhappy she is because of…well, I don’t know. This woman has EVERYTHING and is still miserable. Ironically funny though since the reoccurring theme in the film is that Americans don’t know how to enjoy pleasure and really let themselves go. The “problems” that Gilbert faces couldn’t be more “American.” She’s selfish. She’s rich. She’s unfeeling. Does she learn anything by the end of the movie? Sure she does. After galavanting around the globe in paradise settings, not working, she damn well better or she should have her passport taken away and shoved down her throat. Do I care at all that she changes by the end though? Not one bit. She gets to spend an entire year of her life living in Italy eating her way to happiness, India praying her way to forgiveness and Bali where she loves her way back to health. Awe. Poor her! This book is insanely popular (my mother and brother are among the millions that love it) but I have NO IDEA why anyone would stomach this completely unlikable woman. The sad part is that the movie looks amazing, which is a shock since it was directed by Glee’s Ryan Murphy. It also has some inspired and hypnotic performances by Billy Crudup (Big Fish, Watchmen), James Franco (Pineapple Express, Spiderman), and Javier Bardem (No Country for Old Men). The best performance, however, comes from the amazing Richard Jenkins (Burn After Reading, Step Brothers) who should get Oscar notice once again for this. His scene is so gut-wrenching and sad, but when you compare his pain to hers it just makes you not like her even more! The movie reminded me an awful lot of Sophia Coppolla’s Lost in Translation. It’s a story about someone who has it all and is still not happy. Boo freaking hoo. If that’s a feeling you can identify with then consider yourself lucky and piss off. I haven’t read the book. Maybe it’s a lot deeper when it’s her pure thoughts written on a page. But when put on a movie screen, even when it’s being crafted by great actors, it’s just indulgent, petty, privileged and annoying. Maybe it’s called Eat Pray Love because those are three things that are a lot more enjoyable than watching this film.
Eat Pray Love (Rated PG-13)
Gavin Grade: C

The Expendables

Gavin — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 00:41:09 -0700

It’s possible that you’ve never heard of this movie. Unless you’re a movie nerd and read that they were making this for the past 5 months, you may not have see one ad for it. But The Expendables is an action movie written and directed by Sylvester Stallone and stars an all-star cast of anyone and everyone who has ever held a gun in a movie or ran away from an explosion in slow motion. Besides Stallone, it also stars Jason Statham (The Transporter, Snatch), Jet Li (Hero, Fearless), Dolph Lundgren (Rocky IV, Masters of the Universe), Randy Couture (UFC fighter), Steve Austin (WWE wrestler), Mickey Rourke (Iron Man 2, The Wrestler) and even Bruce Willis and our Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger returns to acting in this. I know what you’re thinking, but trust me…it’s good! Most of this is attributed to the movie not taking itself too seriously. The plot is straight-to-DVD quality and within the first five minutes you see man get shot in half, which is the sign of a real action movie according to my friend Dan. But remember that Stallone is a decent writer and director. Many people forget that he’s an Academy Award-nominated writer and directed most of the Rocky series too. He’s not that great of an actor and he’s pretty painful to look at since having all that plastic surgery, but he’s a damn fine leader of this group of guns for hire…and boy do they have guns! Big guns. Big knives. Big cars. Big motorcycles. Big explosions. Big tattoos. The movie drips with so much testosterone that if you go into the theater with a vagina, you leave with balls. But things have changed a tiny bit since these guys kicked hell out of bad guys again…now they talk about their feelings and admit to going to therapy. It’s a sign of the times and a pretty funny theme in the film. But don’t let all those…feelings…fool you. This movie is full of everything that you’d want from this pedigree. The action sequences are so insane and violent that by the end of the movie you don’t really know who’s fighting who and why they’re blowing up the stuff they’re blowing up. All you know is that it’s AWESOME and you don’t want it to end. The Expendables has the capability to get on the fast track to being a cult classic. You can almost see the Expendables Drinking Game rules now: “1. Do a shot every time you see a cauliflower ear. 2. Drink your beer whenever someone dies. 3. Chug your beer whenever you see a tattoo.” And I have a feeling that Stallone would be okay with that, if that’s the film’s destiny. That’s one of the reasons why the movie is so enjoyable. It didn’t go into this hoping to be Oscar-nominated or bring respect back to some dusty old action relics. He made it to have fun, kick ass and probably to overcompensate for a lot of small penises. But let’s face it, those are the three reasons you’re going to see it too.
The Expendables (Rated R)
Gavin Grade: B+

The Other Guys

Gavin — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 06:05:46 -0700

I still remember where I was the first time I saw Anchorman. I went with my brother to an almost empty theater for a matinee show in Harrisburg, PA. As soon as the movie started it had me laughing intensely within two minutes. My brother and I, however, were the only people in the theater laughing at all, let alone at that veracity. Anchorman rocketed to the top 3 funniest movies I ever saw (joining the ranks of The Big Lebowski and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, if you were interested). Director/Writer Adam McKay and Will Ferrell tried to capture lightening in a bottle again with Talladega Nights a few years later and didn’t come anywhere close. Since The Other Guys is the pair’s newest attempt at hitting that Anchorman target, I wasn’t expecting magic. After two minutes of the projector turning on though, it was clear that these two were back on their A Game. This “buddy cop” comedy pairs the nerd with the benched badass like we’ve seen many times before. Something about this though feels original, but I’m not sure why. One reason could be the casting of Mark Wahlberg, who reminds me again and again how funny he can be. The unlikely comedic duo of Wahlberg and Ferrell had me in stitches through 95% of this movie. They improv banter that consists of debates over who would win in a fight – a lion or a school of tuna. But Wahlberg brings a level of hero intensity that makes the over-the-top and VERY well done action sequences believable. Michael Keaton (Batman, Toy Story 3) makes an awesome return to comedy playing the typical angry police chief. Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson also make their duration of the film octane fueled and own the funniest scenes in the movie. Eva Mendes (Bad Lieutenant, Hitch) holds her own against Ferrell and even matches his skills in her scenes too. The Other Guys could’ve easily fallen into the same trash heap that Bruce Willis’ Cop Out was but it felt different from the beginning. It tip-toed in reality and fantasy throughout the entire film, just like Anchorman did, and you rarely feel that it’s pointless and unenjoyable. The film is full of scenes that make you chuckle long after the movie is over and lines that you’ll quote for years. I’m sure it will get funnier and funnier the more times you watch it and actually impresses in the varsity-level directing that you would expect from an action film…not a comedy. Make sure you stay through the end credits not just because of the hidden scene at the end but also because of the social message McKay and Ferrell want you to leave with that they show through graphics that feel like a short documentary for Michael Moore’s book Stupid White Men. It was refreshing and leaves you thinking as well. I don’t know if The Other Guys will join the elite on my list of favorite comedies just yet. That’s not the way favorite movies work. I need to see if it stands the test of time. I do think that it has the potential too and I personally can’t wait to see it again.
The Other Guys (Rated PG-13)
Gavin Grade: A

Dinner for Schmucks

Gavin — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 04:50:13 -0700

Some time in Hollywood there must have been a gathering of talented comedic actors like Steve Carell (The Office, 40-Year-Old Virgin), Paul Rudd (Anchorman, I Love You, Man) and Zach Galifianakis (The Hangover, Youth in Revolt) who came together to do a script reading for Dinner for Schmucks. But what’s puzzling to me is that not even one of these guys got up and walked away from the table with any doubts that the script needed work or that it wasn’t funny at all. They should have. Dinner for Schmucks is a remake of a French movie that achieved a level of cult status among fans of foreign cinema. The French version, I’ve been told, is very funny and a “must have” among great comedies. It must be a lot funnier in French because this American version is downright awful. Even gifted director Jay Roach, who brought us the Austin Powers and Meet the Parents series, didn’t do anything to make this project funny. The premise of the movie is pretty good. An ambitious corporate executive is invited to a dinner that his career aspirations hinge on. The catch is he has to bring someone that is a complete moron so they can all laugh at that person and then compete to see who brought the most moronic. I personally think the idea of that sounds like a good time, but you’re not suppose too. As an audience member, they’re hoping that you have more moral fiber than most of us actually do and consider that premise disgusting and cruel. Biggest problem of the film is that Carell’s “schmuck” character is SUCH an insufferable, clueless a**hole, you can’t WAIT for him to eviscerated at the dinner. I didn’t care that they were going to make fun of him since I watched him ruin Rudd’s life in a series of very unfunny scenes for 90 minutes. If you think I’m giving anything away about the ending, I’m not. The movie is as predictable as a traffic light’s progression from the opening scene to the end credits roll. The only funny scene in the whole movie is the actual dinner but by then you’re so detached from the movie you just want to run from the theater. To explain where this movie goes wrong is almost an act of futility. It was just a lousy idea that was executed with total mediocrity, which is really sad since I was looking forward to seeing Steve Carell and Paul Rudd together in a movie again since their other two were some of the funniest films I’ve ever seen. (40-Year-Old Virgin and Anchorman if you’re trying to figure out what those two are.) Carell is too unlikeable and unbelievable to be funny and Rudd is too serious and bland to be funny. Galifianakis isn’t even funny playing a character that should steal the show. It’s like the entire film, minus a few seconds of funny lines, is lost in a translation from French to English and ends up being a movie for schmucks instead. I’m still a fan of the cast and wish them better luck next time **cough cough Anchorman 2**
Dinner for Schmucks (Rated PG-13)
Gavin Grade: D+

Interview with Jason Segel

Gavin — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 14:59:47 -0700

Jason Segel called up to chat it up about his new movie Despicable Me, but I used the opportunity to hijack the conversation and interrogate him on the Muppet movie. I got a release date and a little bit of information about the plot. We talked about other stuff too, but let’s be honest…The Greatest Muppet Movie Ever Made is probably the greatest movie news ever made!

Click below to listen to the full interview.

jason segal interview

Inception

Gavin — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 01:49:00 -0700

So far this year, 2010 has shaped up to be pretty awful for movies. There are two films though that have come out this summer that make all that suck totally worth it. Toy Story 3 is probably my favorite Pixar film and one of the best kid movies I’ve seen in 10 years. Inception isn’t one of the best films I’ve seen in the last 10 years, but it’s one of the best in the last 2 or 3. Director Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight, Memento) is starting to carve out a reputation for himself as one of the greatest in the new generation of filmmakers. Not only does he direct these incredible movies he has to his credit, but he writes them too. Inception is masterful and daring on so many levels that it makes me hope the Oscar race starts early with that. Leonardo DiCaprio stars as Cobb, a tortured man who is hired by corporations to break into people’s minds via their dreams to steal their most intimate secrets. The story picks up though when a Japanese businessman, played by the somewhat hard to understand but still impressive Ken Watanabe (Batman Begins, The Last Samurai), who wants him to plant an idea in someone’s head via dreams instead of taking one out; a process called “inception.” DiCaprio creates a team of experts to help him that consists of Joseph Gordon Levitt ((500) Days of Summer), Ellen Page (Juno), Thomas Hardy (Bronson) and Dileep Rao (Drag Me to Hell, Avatar). As the team goes deep, deep and then even deeper into their victim’s head it creates a world that’s like Oceans 11 meets The Matrix. But even a description like that undercuts the genius that is Inception. The plot is so intricate and complex it warrants a third or fourth watch and I would imagine it will get better with every view. Does the film move a little slow at times? Just briefly. Is it confusing? You bet your ass! In fact you’ll spend the first 20 minutes going “what the hell is going on?” But I promise you that by the end of the film, you’ll be on the edge of your seat till the final last seconds tick off the clock. It’s not just that the movie has action visuals that are so dazzling, it conjures how you felt the first time you saw The Matrix that makes it so good. It’s not just that Inception has one of the most original stories I’ve seen in a long time that makes me sing its praises. It’s not just that I was amazed by the climatic 45-minute-long action-packed ending that makes me respect it so much. It’s also the giant brass balls that Christopher Nolan has in releasing this in the middle of the summer, when most studios save their brainless, popcorn-crunching explosion parties for the drooling out of school kids, that rounds out my love for this. Inception is such a complex plot that he almost overestimates the intelligence of most audience members. The story moves fast and doesn’t wait for you to catch up. Don’t stop along the way and try to logic the science behind it. If you do, you’re gonna find yourself five steps behind everyone else and lost in the fantasy. If you do that, you’ll think the movie is good. If you just sit back and enjoy the ride, you’ll think the movie’s great. As for me, I can’t wait to see this again…and again…and again. Thank you Christopher Nolan for still having faith in us to understand thoughtful stories and having the talent to deliver it in a PG-13 package that never feels watered down even in the July heat. You could be the new filmmaker of all our dreams.
Inception (Rated PG-13)
Gavin Grade: A+

Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Gavin — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 04:28:42 -0700

Every time a Twilight movie comes out, I have to go see it. My wife is a HUGE fan. So much so that she dragged me to see Eclipse while we were on our honeymoon…even after she already saw it. I’m not a fan. The first film came out and I thought it was such a poorly made pile of crap that I couldn’t stand to watch it. However, just like with this third installment of the series, I had to see the second one too. The second, New Moon, was better and you could tell they were starting to right the wrongs they made with the first one. If Eclipse is an indication of how things are evolving in the series, then the last film should be great. The Twilight Saga is getting increasingly better. That’s not because of the story, although that is strengthening as well; it’s because the studio is finally putting some money, time and talent into it. It’s apparent to me that the mistakes that were made when the first film was are being corrected, such as casting and who they choose to helm the project. Last time they added Grade A quality performers in the form of Dakota Fanning (War of the Worlds, The Runaways) and Michael Sheen (Frost/Nixon, 30 Rock). This time they replaced a nobody performer named Rachelle Lefevre, who played the villainous Victoria, with a much more recognizable and talented Bryce Dallas Howard (Spiderman 3, Lady in the Water). They also seem to be getting better and better directors. This time around they went with David Slade. Now Twilight is far from horror, but by bringing in a rising star of the genre, it gives the project some much needed fangs. Slade directed the gruesome vampire film 30 Days of Night, which wasn’t a very good story but was directed very well. But what really blew my skirt up was Slade’s film Hard Candy. It starred Ellen Page as a would-be victim of a pedophile who gets her revenge. I consider it one of the scariest horror films I’ve ever seen and it was all due to his manipulation of the actors and the look of the film. Did he bring that same talent to Eclipse? Well, not all of it but he did bring some. Eclipse does have a darker look and better acting though. That’s a relief since it contains three fairly untalented actors. Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson aren’t terrible, but they both could be much better. Kristen Stewart is one of the worst working actresses in Hollywood though. I have no idea why she is the “IT” girl right now, but thanks to David Slade…she’s at least watchable. She used to have a stuttering way to her technique that was as irritating as a fork scraped across a plate to me. But in Eclipse, she didn’t do it…not even once! Thank you David Slade! There are some things I didn’t like. The movie builds toward what appears to be an epic battle scene that falls flat in its action. But scenes are in it that successfully and finally pull me into the melodrama of the love triangle that Bella is in. I find myself choosing a side and wanting her to pick it. That’s what the point of the series is. Will she be with Edward or Jacob? Who knows, but it’s getting more exciting and intense as it goes on. Let’s just hope the improvements being made are going to continue that way. If they do, we’re well on our way to a great finish.
Twilight Saga: Eclipse (Rated PG-13)
Gavin Grade: B